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Second date: You get to grope all over and make out. Third date: You get to have sex in the missionary position. Second Date: Your get to buy her and her girlfriends a real expensive dinner. Third Date: You get to pay her rent.

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I play characters who are comfortable naked, but that's something you work up to.

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When I was 14, I hoped that one day I would have a girlfriend. A pint of beer with an olive in it. I'd like to trade photos but don't feel like you have to send one immediately. Once you become famous, being single becomes a liability.

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Get off the phone. How can you tell if a woman is flat chested?

You always know when you're the first to pop a beer. Let's subscribe to Hustler.

My goal is not to harm her. You can share a beer with your friends. My mother is a real old bitch. For a woman, marriage is more than just a word. Third date: Wedding night.

Because they can spell it. They don't know the recipe.

My girlfriend has incredibly strict rules for how we have sex

Explain why this Jkes fair, making reference to your lazy old granny who lived to be and your poor granddad who worked 52 years down the pit and died the day before he retired. JM: I went to a school that's predominantly computer science and engineering. How can a woman tell she is ugly? When your beer goes flat, you toss it out. They're either vacant, engaged, or full of crap.

To make suckers out of men. He soon realises she is heading straight towards his seat.

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What headache? Have a night out with your mates, you deserve it. One who gets someone to read the DIY manual to him. Somebody once told me, "You ride the horse the direction it's going. JM: Hell yeah. A man wants every woman to satisfy his one need. Claudia pulls out lipstick and make-up hto starts fixing her face.

50 phrases that would immediately turn women on if men would actually say them | thought catalog

That's one of the big reasons you take that part. A man walks into a bar and orders a glass of orange. Wife: I'd like to thank my husband for three wonderful years of marriage -and Hkt frigid beer is a good beer. Did that give you an appreciation for what women go through?

I wasn't talking about the crack in the ceiling, what I said was, "Would you prefer me on my back or kneeling? That's what Hor Mike gave me.

I hate your fucking friends. Do you want me to wear my suit or leather jacket?

How do I answer that? How many men does it take to replace the toilet roll? She hikes up her skirt every time someone yawns.

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Well right now for me that means finding my soulmate, my knight in shining armour, my superhero lol :p My girls told me I was crazy for going online cause they are worried that I'll attract all kinds of freaks and perverts.

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